It is that time again when we are told that we should be making resolutions for the upcoming year…. I have learned that even if I go through the effort of making resolutions, I never follow up on them, mostly because I always pick the hardest things to overcome.
A common theme to my resolutions is BALANCE. Throughout my life I have been lived in extremes (happy/sad, extrovert/introvert) other words, the most need for some kind of middle ground.
At no time was this need as obvious as when I was going through my divorce. I had times when I did not want to get out of bed, then I would see my kids after they had been with their father and I would be bursting with excitement and would devote every bit of energy I had on being the best mother I could be. During this time period, I was working with a therapist to help me through this transition. She urged me to start taking care of myself so I could be the best version of myself for others. The analogy she used was when you are on an airplane and the flight attendants are giving their safety lecture, they tell you that in the case of loss of cabin pressure, put the oxygen masks on yourself before you help your children. If you pass out due to lack of air, you cannot help others around you. I go back to this visual on a regular basis. BALANCE.
When you are going through a divorce, you suffer so many strong feelings of guilt, failure, sadness – and then possibly – happiness, lightness, hope.
What can you do to achieve balance? It is different for each person. For me it was to actually schedule time for exercise, reading, and friends. If I do not schedule these items on my calendar like an appointment I will fill that time with work, the childrens’ needs, or household chores. I battle with feeling guilty taking time for myself, but without these breaks, I would have no balance.
What are you doing to take care of yourself? What is your oxygen supply?
In 2015, let’s work together to find balance.